Margaret & Helen

Margaret please tell Howard that 100,000 people will show up to a tractor pull if the entry fee is cheap enough.  Big deal. I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. I’m going to ignore them and have some pie.

As I see it dear, if more than a hundred thousand dead civilians in Iraq and Afghanistan can be dismissed,  so can slightly less than a hundred thousand peckerwoods at a Beck rally.

If the civil rights of millions of gay and lesbian Americans are not important, then neither are the pathetic rants of almost a hundred thousand Palin addicts.

If millions of children without healthcare are  inconsequential then why should I give a rat’s ass about a hundred thousand shitheads who actually think Beck and Palin have something worthwhile to say?

As long as millions of American Muslims don’t have religious freedom, a hundred thousand Tea Party yahoos shouldn’t be allowed to have cable television.  It only seems fair…

I just can’t believe 87,000 people are dumb enough to buy that crap. If Beck and Palin want a government so focused on one God and one religion, they should visit the Middle East and see how that concept is working out.  It’s gotten to the point where you can’t distinguish Fox News from the Christian Broadcasting Network.   It’s nauseating.

Palin and Beck don’t care about you, me or anyone except themselves.  They are getting filthy rich pandering to angry white mobs so transparent in their racist feelings toward the President that a sheet of Saran Wrap would cast a darker shadow.

The greatest threat against America is not terrorism.  It’s not a mosque in Manhattan.  It’s not gay marriage.  It’s not healthcare reform.  And, believe it or not, it’s not even Beck or Palin.  The greatest threat against America are the tens of millions of Americans who won’t turn out to vote this November effectively giving power to 87,000 angry assholes.

Sarah Palin is an idiot.  Glenn Beck is a moron.  And I am sick of Fox News.  I mean it.  Really.

Margaret, your letters have been a source of comfort these past few weeks.  I really have not felt like writing until your nephew called me to tell me that lots of people actually read this thing and many of them think that I am dead.  Goodness gracious. I had no idea that once I started I couldn’t stop.  But if this is my lot in life, I guess things could be worse.  It keeps me busy and right now I probably don’t need a lot of time on my hands.

I saw in the news today that one of your radio shows is coming to an end.  That Dr. Laura lunatic you like has finally gone one step too far and used the N-word a few too many times… well actually one too many times if you think about it.  It’s just not one of those words  a crazy white woman should let slip.  You’d think she would know that. 

You’d also think that she would have a better understanding of the First Amendment which she is now claiming has been denied to her.   I assume, of course, that she is referring to the freedom of speech and not the freedom of the press – the later referring to actual journalists and not some quack with a PhD in physiology.

What Ms. Schlessinger seems to forget is that she indeed has the right to say the N word.  In fact, she exercised her right to say the N word over and over again.  And still today she could continue to say the N word until the Sarah Palin comes home.  No one has stopped her from doing so just as no one stopped me from just now insinuating Sarah Palin is a cow.  Schlessinger’s First Amendment rights are very much intact.  The First Amendment, however, doesn’t prevent people from deciding that maybe the next time Laura Schlessinger says the N word a microphone shouldn’t be sitting in front of her.

And so Physiologist Schlessinger is just one more name on an ever-growing list of Conservative Americans who talk out of both sides of their ass… sorry I meant mouth… no I think I meant ass.

Folks, these talking heads need to stop talking to us like we are stupid.  And quite frankly we need to stop soaking it all up like idiots.  Just because you heard it on the boob tube – or the radio for that matter - doesn’t make it true.

Obama isn’t shredding the constitution.  Healthcare Reform isn’t going to put me or any other grandmother in an early grave.  Anchor babies, missing birth certificates, protecting the sanctity of marriage, … it’s all a bunch of crap.  And if you don’t believe me, take a good hard look  at the asshole who said it.  I mean it.  Really.

Margaret, tell Howard that the difference between me and Rush Limbaugh is that I don’t lie in order to support my opinion.  That fat bastard Limbaugh will say anything to keep his ratings up and counts on his fans being too lazy to check the facts.  And as far as the next election, Howard is probably right.  This fickle country of ours will probably put the Republicans back in control of something and it will start all over again.  It’s sad really.

I wonder if the Grand Old Party has taken a step back recently and gotten a good look at just how tarnished they have become?   You’ve got one Governor shooting wolves out of helicopters and another using laser guided missiles  to take out coyotes during his morning jog.    You’ve got the Tea Party rooting for insurance companies instead of kids  and the Right-To-Lifers shooting doctors at church.  The GOP even has homophobes practicing homosexuality.  And “drill, baby, drill” isn’t sounding too great for a battle cry these days, but by God they’re sticking to it.  From where I sit, the entire Republican Party should head to OZ – looking for a brain, a heart and a pair of testicles.

Honestly, do Republicans put their guns down long enough to wipe their asses or do they just take a chance and occasionally wound themselves in the privates?  What the hell are these people thinking?  Have you listened to Rush Limbaugh recently?  And if you have, please tell me why.   We know he never graduated from College.  We know his mother said he flunked everything.  We know that much of his career was spent high on hillbilly heroin.  And we know for damn sure he lies.  There is actually an entire organization dedicated to exposing his lies from each and every broadcast.  So how in God’s name can you repeat his garbage in your emails and comments to me and not expect me to immediately discount you for a fool?

For the record.  I have no issue with all these morons asking to see President Obama’s birth certificate.  After all, for eight years I demanded that President Bush produce a GED document to prove he had a brain.  I never did get proof, but I also knew when to give up… right about the time he said that the human being and fish could coexist peacefully.   The birth certificate argument is a horse as dead as the coyote that almost ate Governor Good Hair.

The absolute absurdity of it all has become… well…  absurd.

Margaret, you have to ask yourself:

How many guns do you need before you cross the line from hunter to paranoid militia member?

How much oil has to wash ashore in the Gulf Coast before we seriously consider solar, wind and other alternative fuel sources?

How many skeletons and fossils do we have to dig up before evolution seems more plausible than the story of God sleeping in after six days of hard work?

How many wars do we have to start before we realize that, in war, there are no winners except Dick Cheney and Halliburton?

How long before Tea Party members stop misspelling signs and just start burning crosses?

Does that law in Arizona really do anything to fix immigration or is it just a new way of saying you don’t want a Mexican buying the house next door? 

And just how stupid does Sarah Palin have to be before you reconsider giving her the codes to the nukes?

About that last one. I really, really do mean it.